


Never Have I Ever

by GlassesAndGiggles



Category: Magic 2.0 Series - Scott Meyer
Genre: An Unwelcome Quest, Comedy, Gen, Humor, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Prison Gay, blowjob, snarky, talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 13:14:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12607444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassesAndGiggles/pseuds/GlassesAndGiggles
Summary: Omg, did I actually write a fic that could be canon compliant? I don't think this one requires a branching timeline.SUMMARY: A scene from 'An Unwelcome Quest', the guys are playing 'Never Have I Ever' around the fire. Gary accidentally leads Jimmy into an awkward confession, and Todd wants more details.  Not smut, just talking.  No romance either.





	Never Have I Ever

"Never Have I ever..." Phillip started, his mouth still half-full of wolf jerky. "...gone hunting." Phillip raised his hand with Gary. Tyler and Jimmy left theirs down. Jimmy was pretty close to losing this round of Never Have I Ever just like he'd lost the last three. The questions had been organized that way intentionally each time either Phillip or Tyler had a turn. Phillip didn't feel sorry for JImmy so much as having such an obvious loser took all of the chance and unpredictability out the game. He leaned over and whispered to Gary. "Okay, you can go blue."

 

Gary rose his eyebrows in delight.

 

"But you said no pervy stuff."

 

"If we just keep talking about things that make you a terrible person, Jimmy's just going to keep losing, which is sort like winning when it's a streak this long."

 

The previous questions had been: Never Have I ever Sent Someone to the Hospital, Never Have I ever Had to work with someone I hated with the passion of a thousand burning suns ( though Phillip had lost a point on that one as well ), never have I ever been arrested (Gary had also qualified), Never Have I ever snooped in someone's home (This upset the Wizards, until Jimmy assured them he'd been robbing mere mortals homes ) , Never Have I ever Stolen Something, Never Have I Ever Lied About Someone Dying as An Excuse, Never Have I ever had to run to save my life, and Never have I ever cried to get out of trouble as an adult. 

 

Gary bounced giddily when it was his turn.

Then froze.

What depraved thing could he ask?

"Never Have I Ever Had Sex In A Public Place."

Tyler and Garys' hands went up, as did Phillip's. Jimmy scratched his knee.

"You always struck me as a bit more prudish then that." Phillip inquired curiously. Jimmy gave a sheepish smile and shrug but didn't elaborate further. Now it was Tyler's turn, and he was looking at the other's shrewdly.

"I really should get on that. I've always kind of wanted to do it."

"Yeah, me too." Gary giggled. Phillip rolled his eyes.

"Only if it's at a Swinger's party or something, It's.. just kind of skeevy to inflict your sexuality on other people who didn't ask for it. There's something... nonconsensual about it, though it doesn't surprise me Jimmy didn't see a problem with inflicting his will thoughtlessly on others."

Jimmy's mouth remained a straight line, though he did avert his gaze from Phillip.

Now it was Tyler's turn.

"Never Have I Ever Woken Up next to someone I didn't recognize from the night before."

All four hands went up this time. It rolled to Jimmy, who shrugged his shoulders, looked at the others.

"So, we're doing naughty questions now?"

"Seems so. Just generally being a horrible person was leaving you without many points." Phillip drawled. Jimmy chuckled, considered, and then presented his query.

"Never have I ever had an affair while in a relationship." Not surprisingly, all the other hands went up with his. It was hard enough for the guys to have one girlfriend, much less juggle two. JImmy's question hadn't really been about getting ahead by a point, though. It'd been about proving he was trustworthy again. 

Phillip thought, the reins back in his hands. If he was going to start this entire naughty movement, he really should take a more active role. 

"Never have I ever had anal sex." Phillip actually lost a point on this one, he really liked anal with Brit, but he was curious to see if Gary had ever gotten that far with a girl. Gary's hand  
raised, somewhat sadly, as did Tyler's.

Jimmy fiddled with the grass.

"Ah, really? That too?" Gary cried, jealous. Jimmy just gave a half-smile.

Tyler appraised the situation. Jimmy had never been particularly successful with women, not anymore then the rest of them. Somehow he didn't think three decades of homelessness had helped his game any. Gary had the wrong read on all of this, Tyler realized suddenly.

"Never Have I Ever Given Head." Tyler asked.

Tyler's hand went up, Phillip's hand stayed down, and Gary's went half-way up. Jimmy's arms didn't even move, but just folded about his knees while he watched the fire. Tyler scowled at Gary. "What the hell does half-way up mean?"

"I... when you said head, do you mean, like cunnilingus or a blow job?"

"A blow job, of course."

"Oh." Phillip raised his hand. "My mistake." Gary's hand went the rest of the way up.

Now the only hand down was Jimmy's. 

"I didn't know you swung that way." Gary sounded a little awed.

"I don't." Jimmy chided, then realizing it was his turn. "Okay, Never Have I Ever-"

"Waitwaitwait, you can't just keep going after something like that." Phillip argued. "That's the whole rule of the game, if you're the only one who's done it you have to share a story. Otherwise the game would go through hundreds of questions an hour. We've just been giving you a free pass on the other ones."

"Yeah, I've got to hear this. Who was it?" Gary asked. "Was it Eddie? You guys did live  
together."

"Oh my god, Gary." Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose. "Even if it was, would you really want to know? And it's not, by the way, but if it was...."

"How do you know who it is?" Gary asked skeptically. "Wait, was it you?" Gary turned to Jimmy curiously. "Do you only like black guys? Did you blow Tyler? Did you ghost him because you two were having relationship problems?"

This made Jimmy snort. "No, I ghosted Tyler because I told him about my secret plans, he informed me they were evil secret plans, and I panicked and tried to stop him from spreading news of my evil secret plans to everyone else. Though I should have let him, it would have saved a lot of lives."

"He didn't suck my dick. He doesn't like guys." Tyler threw a small but firm rock at Gary's side Gary swatted it away, rolling his eyes.

"Obviously he likes them a little. I mean, you just don't fall onto someone's dick with you mouth open and decide to get to work on accident. That's pretty intentional. And, no offense JImmy, but like." Gary's face screwed up. "Just the thought of someone's wang anywhere near my mouth is triggering my gag reflex. It's... disgusting."

"It is." JImmy agreed with a nod.

"But you've done it anyways." Phillip prodded. Jimmy gave Phillip a smile as thin as razor wire.

"Phillip, don't make me spell it out. Let's just move on, okay?"

"Was it like a college thing? Where'd you go again, Caltech? Were you experimenting when you at Caltech?" Gary pushed further. Tyler groaned.

"Gary, christ you're dense. It didn't happen before we banished him you fool."

"So it happened after? Did it happen during this trip?" Gary looked repulsed.

"I just said he didn't suck my dick." Tyler was beginning to look murderous.

"Well he didn't suck mine and he didn't have time to get Jeff's, rest in peace, so..." Gary cast a suspicious look at towards Phillip. Phillip's face colored. He had actually fantasized once or twice about forcing Jimmy to do something like that before the entire orc incident when Jimmy had been young and handsome, but it had been a pure power fantasy thing, nothing sexual about it. 

"Okay, Gary wants it spelled out, I got it." Jimmy sighed, catching everyone's attention. "Look, I was in prison for six months almost as soon as I was banished, and that was not the last time. You'd be surprised how often you're captured, detained, deported, taken hostage, and otherwise held against your will when you're traveling through countries embroiled in civil war with no papers, not speaking the language, no money, being blonde, and having no friends.  
Even after I got out I couldn't hold down a job because of the EMP field, so I had to steal stuff to get by. I'd eventually get arrested again."

"Okay?" Gary asked.

Jimmy shrugged, as if this explained everything, but Gary just continued to stare at him. Eventually, Jimmy continued.

"I was in prison. As a young, slim, long-haired, pale skinned computer programmer who didn't speak any Spanish and wasn't a part of any gangs. I was thrown into a cell surrounded by criminals in a corrupt prison system where the guards didn't care what happened to us. Where some of those guys hadn't seen a woman in decades." Jimmy continued. Gary nodded.

"Okay, but where does the blow job come in at?"

 

"Gary, he was raped." Tyler slammed his hands against his face in agitation. "Man why you gotta make us say it?"

"Ooooooh. Ooooh!" Gary looked immediately enlightened. "So you didn't want to suck that guy's dick, he forced you to."

"Uh-huh." Jimmy nodded. "See now why I didn't want to dwell on it?"

Phillip and Tyler shared uncomfortable looks. They liked the idea that Jimmy had been punished, but they'd intentionally never delved into the exact details. Jimmy hadn't volunteered them either, keeping things vague in his best attempt to keep from sounding ungrateful that they hadn't just killed him. Tyler and Phillip were both really good guys, with a strong sense of empathy. The brutal detail of Jimmy's forced humiliation didn't really bring the satisfaction it should have. Tyler regretted that he had intentionally pursued the knowledge, for now he didn't know what to do with it.

"Okay, can I take my turn now?" Jimmy asked into the empty night.

"What did it taste like?" Gary asked. 

"Gary!" Phillip barked. Gary winced, but looked brazenly back at Phillip.

"It's not like I'm asking him to do it, I'm just curious."

"Are you me describing it isn't going to make you throw up?" Jimmy asked wryly. "That gag reflex of yours?"

"No, it should be fine. Go ahead."

Jimmy looked to Phillip and Tyler, waiting for them to stop him. Tyler wanted to know because he was a writer. Phillip wanted to know because he had always kind of wanted to shove his own dick in Jimmy's mouth, just to the shut him up. Neither of them said this, but just looked forward. Jimmy slumped, carefully avoided looking at anyone in particular, and answered.

"It doesn't really have a taste, when it's clean, like during a shower. It's just like sucking on your thumb or something, maybe tastes a little bit like soap if they didn't rinse well. But... usually they're not asking you to do it during a shower."

"They?" Gary's eyes widened. "You mean it happened more than once?"

"Mhmmm." Jimmy replied placidly. "So, normally it'd happen either in the cell, the yard, or during lunch. In the prison. During the other situations, it's usually after lunch or late, late at night. Anyway, it mostly tastes like sweat. It's the smells that really gets you. That changes depending on what they eat, a lot of chili powder and onion down south, it was usually a sort of spicy, pungent smell. Then, of course, the smell of testosterone and pheromones is really strong down there. I'm not sure how to describe exactly what that's like, besides that it smells like testosterone. Not like girls. Like guys. And pee, but just a little bit."

Phillip realized with a sinking horror that Jimmy could have very easily contracted HIV. He obviously didn't. He was here, and infuriatingly, in better shape then Phillip was despite physically being twenty years older. Still. Phillip had known that Jimmy would be beaten, chased, starved, and thoroughly inconvenienced. But there was something obscenely graphic about the calm way he talked being forced to do something that might or might not give him a crippling fatal illness. 

"And semen?" Gary asked.

"Really bland taste, like wet baking powder. Little salty."

"Wow." Gary blinked. "You know, I always think about what you did to us, but I never really think about what happened to you. You keep saying it's a huge improvement to be back in Lead Church and I'm like 'No way is that true', but it sort of seems like it's true. I can't imagine ever having to do something like that."

"And you shouldn't have to, you've never done anything wrong. In contrast, I deserved it." Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck. He looked up and saw the three unconvinced faces. "I mean, you could have killed me. Even the worst moments were a gift. Just because there were a lot of them doesn't mean they weren't more than I deserved. Letting me live was generous and really showed how good you all are."

"We couldn't punish you if you were dead." Phillip grumbled. Jimmy gave him one of those infuriatingly understanding smile, and Phillip sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Sure, let's go with that. Anyway, those were humiliating and the first few times it happened I did vow to get revenge on all of you. I thought of some really great plots too, but I'm older and wiser now. Plus, it's nothing compared to actual rape." Jimmy shook his head, physically recoiling from the memory. "But, enough Jimmy time, it's my turn to ask a question."

No one argued with him.

"Never Have I Ever-" Jimmy began. There was a click from the heavens.

"What was it like to get raped?" Todd asked, facelessly, from the clouds. Jimmy craned his neck back and frowned at the sky.

"Todd, you went to prison too. You know, right, my fellow pallid nerd? Though you got to stay in the US, that's still a problem there."

"I was whisked away to a top secret facility without a trial and all my records were classified. Then I was kept in solitary, windowless cell underground 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for seven years. The only people I saw were guards and the warden. Downside: Total social isolation with less rights then even the nation's worst serial killer rapists because I used one town's bully to punch the other town's bully in the nads. Upside: I've never been raped."

"You also killed a man." Phillip interjected.

"You didn't know about that until Merlin told you at the beginning of this adventure, I heard that conversation. So, no, you didn't banish me for murder. You banished me for pulling a prank where I used a peasant everyone hated to punch the Wizard King everyone hated even more in the dick. Even if I hadn't killed a guy in 2007 and so was never arrested, with the EMP field I never would have been able to hold down a job or live in a house or anything again. So fuck you." Todd snapped at Phillip, before pressing the question. "Anyway, Merlin, our circumstances were a little different."

"Lucky." Jimmy rose his eyebrows. Todd snorted.

"Really? You got to explore all of these different countries, meet a lot people, kill people-"

"Jimmy didn't kill anyone while he was banished." Phillip corrected. Jimmy made an 'eeeeh' sound that made Phillip's eyes go wide and owl-like. "Right?"

"Remember how I said I was taken hostage?" 

"Don't change the subject. I want to know." Todd cut Jimmy off.

"Why?" Jimmy asked with the morbid fascination he had addressed Todd with when they'd first met.

"Sometimes when I was bored I'd fantasize about getting a cute cell mate. Shut up, just tell me."

"Surely there's porn or internet stories out there that can satisfy your curiosity?"

"Yes, but it's extra delicious to hear it from one of my arch-nemesises. Nemisii? Nemisiseses?"  
"I think the sentence you're looking for is: To hear it from an arch-nemesis." Jimmy provided, helpful as always.

"Thanks, that's the one. Now tell me or I'm going to make it rain. Or Snow. Or both."

"Sleet."

"What?"

"Rain and snow mixed together is called sleet." Jimmy provided helpfully.

Todd didn't say anything, but a thin belt of hail started in the distance. It approached with a rhythmic, thumping sound. The guys all groaned, but Jimmy stood up and waved his hands.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop being a smart ass. I'll tell you, but do I have to tell you in front of the guys?"

"They hate you, they'll probably enjoy it too."

"That's true."

And so, Jimmy, given little recourse, recounted what it was like to physically violated by another man. They all agreed after the tale there was no reason any of the other guys or Gwen had to ever know about this. Effectively, it changed nothing.

Except, in the dead of night, when Jimmy was lying on the ground shivering in his leather armor and pajamas, Phillip sighed in disgust at the sight. He settled back to back with him, and draped his fur cloak over the two of them.


End file.
